When My Heart Left in a Pickup Truck

I kissed a toddler-girl's round cheeks and tiny nose, then her eyelashes and her little chin and, still leaning close so we could feel each other's breath, whispered the sentiments of an aching gramma.  At her tender age, she's blissfully ignorant to what this all means, but nevertheless offered, "I yuv you... miss you..."

Then the preschool boy offered encouragement to me.  When I hugged and kissed him, he told me that he'll count weeks with me and it'll be okay because "we'll facetime everyday and that way we can still see each other." His smile big and his eyes bright as stars.  I couldn't help but laugh at his innocent optimism and nod in agreement..."You're right. We'll see each other every day."

I smiled brave and didn't let them see the tears threatening to spring forth.

Meanwhile, she stood in the dark, damp, cold evening right between those two trucks waiting her turn.  My mind's eye still sees her in her red coat with head bowed and sad, brimming eyes. We each let a groan-like sigh escape as we realized the moment we both dreaded was here.  We clung to each other long and hard, spilling tears on each other's shoulders murmuring "it will go fast" and "we'll be okay" and "I'm going to miss you so much."  Truth, truth, and truth.

We finally released our embrace and she climbed in the truck. 

I hugged their daddy, her husband, and we shared sentiments of love and encouragement. Then they were off.

...and I dried my eyes. 

Astonishingly, they've been dry ever since.  Not for lack of missing them with an indescribable ache, but because of His amazing grace. 

That's all it can be.  The only explicable reason.

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you,

for my power is made perfect in weakness." ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

 

 

Then I read this today from Ann Voskamp:

 

"Hey Soul? I know it's hard to know how it's all going to work out, this season, that problem, these kids, that situation. What if you didn't need to know what was coming ahead of you, as much as needed to lean on Him who is beside you?

"Let the one who walks in the dark who has no light,
trust in the name of the Lord & rely on their God." Is. 50:10
 

We want clarity; God wants us to come closer. Come closer to God who's got it: Lean on His Love, Rely on His strength. Sometimes we want greater clarity when what we need is deeper trust.
Life is always clearer when you press closer to Him
& see your life through the sheer love of God.We want clarity; God wants us to come closer. Come closer to God who's got it: Lean on His Love, Rely on His strength. Sometimes we want greater clarity when what we need is deeper trust.
Life is always clearer when you press closer to Him
& see your life through the sheer love of God.We want clarity; God wants us to come closer. Come closer to God who’s got it. Lean on His love, rely on His strength. Sometimes we want greater clarity when what we need is deeper trust.  Life is always clearer when you press closer to Him and see your life through the sheer love of God."
We want clarity; God wants us to come closer. Come closer to God who's got it: Lean on His Love, Rely on His strength. Sometimes we want greater clarity when what we need is deeper trust.
Life is always clearer when you press closer to Him
& see your life through the sheer love of God.



You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast

because they trust in you. ~Isaiah 26:3

With camera pics unedited, I've been perusing recent iPhone pics...

Movietime time in their room at Gramma and Grandpa's house.

Fun with refrigerator magnets and wearing the apron gramma made her.

The magnets remain the way she left them.

A sleepover at Gramma and Grandpa's house.  Good morning!

We had computer time together. 

She took a nap on gramma's chest.



I love that smile.



His mercies are new every morning.

I'm okay.  Sad, but not broken.

And I'm definitely counting weeks.  Ten to go.